Egypt gets an amazing number of tourist every year. Since Wikipedia, my research partners, do not have a number, let us assume that to be about 4 million. But than it could be any other. My phone number or the passport number without the alphabets. Or we can continue with the amazing number description.
Anyhow, the number is largely irrelevant.
The idea of travelling in Egypt conjures up images of lithe, lissome nubile babes, dressed in diaphanous cotton, carrying salvers of grapes giving meaningful glances with their kohl lines eyes. Full moon nights the whole month round. And then the adventures, of being chased by poorly bandaged ghouls across a dark desert lit by the aforesaid moon.
Fewer visions are farther from truth.
Stepping out of the Cairo airport, I was left with a sense of great bewilderment. How on earth could a civilization, which gave us the Pyramids, King Tut and Brandon Fraser a career, agree to have an airport which look and behaves like an overturned trash can. Just think of it as a nightmare or maybe a bad omen of things to come.
The modern Egypt shows its continuity with the old in its taxis. Relics of an era bygone, they represent a time closer to the invention of the automobile than the present. Most of the cars are old Fiats. But I guess no sooner than I publish this, the Chinese government, reading this post, will take over the public transport system.
Now, before we go to my usual hedonistic "sthayi stambh" - or the permanent pillars of my blogs ie food, women and sights' let me enlighten you on three most common tourist traps. I fell into all of them
Belly Dance: Isn't it obvious. When in Egypt, belly dance not balle balle. So I take my pointers, from well meaning hosts, and head out.
There is a stretch of girlie bars on aptly named 'Al Haram Street' but then enough websites talk of them being rip offs. The genteel class heads to the clubs in the five star hotels - the Hilton, the Westin, the Sofitel and the Conrad. All located within 5 mins of each other. So I head for the Hilton. Book before you go, so I am told to come at 1145 pm. Late, but what the heck. Once there, an obvious tourist trap - no cover charge but you've got to eat or drink. I shun the food and ask for a drink and fruits- a double whiskey with soda for US$ 88. Food would've meant over $120. I enjoy my drink listening to some local band on a karaoke. half an later, I'm still listening to them. On inquiry, I'm told that the belly dancer comes in at 2 am. I get up, complain of terrible health, plead for a discount and pay the waiters hush money so that they don't raise a bill and step out. In my business, you need to do this a lot. It's called cutting your losses. Later, research reveals that belly dancers usually start around that hour of the day or night.
Museum: The next day I head off for the Cairo Museum. Among other pieces, it houses the sarcophagus of King Tut. It was nice and all that. They have a royal mummy section. You pay 100 Egypt Pounds to get in to see that section. And most people do that. Don't. All bandages look same and stink equally.
Again, there are more precious Egyptian treasures in the Parisian and London museums than in Cairo
The Pyramids of Giza. They're not the trap. Getting there is the trap. Each hotel has an early morning bus leaving for a half hour tour of the pyramids. But since the bus is full of old German's and package tourism violates the code of ethics of the intrepid traveller, I choose to take the way less travelled.
Post the Museum, I take the Egyptian subway (yes it exists and quite wonderful too) to the terminal at Gizeh. I meet this really friendly teacher from Alexandria and his Son who I quickly teach some words of Hindi and we discuss Amitabh Bachchan and Rajiv Gandhi. The teacher is taking his son to the Pyramids. And since the usual way is full of touts, he is going the way locals do - by bus. I thank the Egyptian pantheon for their wonderful offspring and we take the bus. We get off the bus and reach a small village where my friend introduces me to another friend who hires our camels and horses for only 600 pounds. Wonderful, only that the trip from the hotel with the Germans would've been at half that and come with a free lunch.
Quickly wisening up, I realize I've to cut my losses. I get up and walk out. Long story short, I did get on a horse, which is an event for me, since I didn't get on one even when I was getting married. The whole trip cost me around 300 pounds and to make it value for money, I sat on the animal for almost two hours and came back with a migraine.
If you are headed for a much advised against holiday in Egypt, take the package tour. The bus stop is at the Pyramids.
Now the usual suspects
Food: Naguib Mahfouz the man was a Cairo institution, getting the Nobel prize for Literature. His legacy lives in the restaurant run by Oberoi's in the Khan-El-Khalili bazaar. Their lamb tagine is very recommended, though not by me. I am extra appreciative of their rendition of the Umm Ali and the Kunefe.
I also had some Lebanese take aways from a local chain, whose name slips my mind now. They'd a good shawarma and brilliant falafel
A forgettable officious lunch was a Peking, a Chinese ( what else?) restaurant, whose interpretation of kungpao chicken with cashew had a bad case of lost in translation.
More memorable was the dinner at Grand Hyatt's Indian restaurant. Mughlai was meant to be paired with Scotch and soda. History don't tell us this (but I've discovered nonetheless) that the primary reason of British occupation of India was the pairing of British Whiskey's, brought by Sir Thomas Roe, with the good grub from Jahangir's kitchen.
Shopping: Unless you're a German retiree reading this (Sind sie ein deutscher Rentner, der dieses liest? Warum?) you should not shop in Egypt. Everything made in Egypt is cheaper in China. The genuine sarcophagus with ancient hieroglyphics is actually made in the Great March of Thousand Soldiers Factory of Guangdong and the heiros are few of the over 50000 characters which make up the Chinese language.
The only shop worth visiting is Mobaco, which has fantastic clothes. This is a not to be missed even if the choice is between Pyramids and Mobaco.
So that was my three day in Cairo. I would've liked the place, but the whole place has taken tourism beyond the commercial and into the chicane. The modern day Cairo retains only the pyramids from its glorious past. And they too look tired.
No comments:
Post a Comment