fashion(non)sense

I saw 'fashion' last night. As my good deed for forseeable future, here is the review.

This movie is not about the fashion industry, the politics or machinations, neither the oeuvre of those who build it nor the grit of those who run it. that should still leave a lot of meat.

The story is about a girl who wants to be a model, her rise to superdom, subsequent fall and then an attempt to rise again. Period. Now make it last 3 hours.
It could've been alternatively titled the rise and fall and rise of a model. or a shorter version, up, down, up, or for the geeks, a model's life as a sine curve. Whatever it be called, it should come with a statutory warning seen on cigarette packs. There were so many scenes with people smoking, that I started suffering from withdrawal symptoms soon after reaching home.

I guess this movie was born as a checklist. Girls dreams to be model. Check. Fight scene with dad. Check. Models smoke a lot. Check. Some skin via lingerie show. Check. Models have indiscriminate sex with married man, one wannabe model and one general dick from Nigeria. Check. Lots of parties. Check. Men in fashion industry are gay. Check. Death by drug OD. Check. Tailors are muslims. Check. Naari mukti cameo. Check.
And that sums up the movie's spirit - soul of a laundry list in an anorexic presentation. All checked and that leave me really cross.

As for the performances, there is Priyanka chopra as main lead, who acts with the panache of a cardboard cutout and she has lines to support. Try this. I don't want to be a model I want to be a supermodel or Now i'll be very professional Mr Sareen. Bad line, badly mouthed.
Kangna ranaut (or her make up artist) has no idea what cocaine does to the face or eyes. Coke is an alkaloid that affects the central nervous system, but in this movie, people turn wobbly kneed soon as they've finished a snort. Clearly their brains have relocated.

Last few words of judgement: Madhur Bhandarkar should take himself less seriously. And people i.e, critics, film industry and his cast should stop holding him in awe. It is a very wannabe arty and ends up like a oven heated dish of raan-e-awadh. Nice looking, but cold in parts and bad for digestion.

I should've gone to golmaal returns.