REPUBLIKA HVRTSKA

We start this post with my arrival at Zagreb, the capital of Croatia.

The three things that will remain with me long after all else if forgotten, which is about 15 mins from now, are -
my problem with spellcheck in this post and -
encounter with horsemeat

When my passport came back after the croatian visa, the name of the country was HVRTSKA.

I've a fairly well developed left brain. I can lift my left eyebrow higher than my right one. That is proof of a well developed left brain. but despite my well develope left brain I couldn't figure out how could the spelling and sound be so far apart.

It's like calling an umbrella, not an umbrella. Bad example, but I guess you get the import.

And that is not it. Croatians actually abhor vowels. there is a place called Grk and its neighbor Krk not to forget Brcko.

I mean, how do you send a sms when leaving Grk for Krk. I've thought of some options which are listed below -

- gng grk 2 krk
- grk2krk
- g(k)rk

please send your suggestions to the post office of grk or krk. you may address them to postmaster grk (or krk), hvrtska.

I was in europe, so i decided to sample their cuisine. that was when i encountered horsemeat. yes dear reader, do not cringe - horsemeat as in meat made from the equine species. long know for giving us chetak, toofan and moti, it was now giving us sausages. i was traumatized.

my hosts were jelkwik and his sister (i didn't get her name. and looking at her and her brothers size didn't have the courage to ak for it). my english was clearly no good for them and they looked at my collegaue - a pole (not pole as in a thick wooden stick but pole as in a man from poland), to translate my accent into their accent.

jelkwik worships the ground putin treads on. he puts that on practise in the way he drives his bmw x5. which is by going against the traffic at very high speeds and playing disco music. all this only after he has twleve doubles of jack D on the rocks. before that he drives only against the traffic at high speed.

after escaping from my hosts, we headed to split. not the verb but the noun and a proper one at that.

split is a beautiul town overlooking the adriatic and cliched as this may sound, it is true.

the old city of split is a unesco heritage city and is located within the old castle walls. we stayed at a small b&b over there, which overcharged, despite the end of tourist season.

split holds the record for the shortest divorce sentence. it is - let's split.

split will also be hosting the miss universe contest in 2009.

after split, we gave came back to get a fresh dose of jelkwik on way back and spent the night at opatija, an adorable city along the adriatic.

next day, drove to zagreb early morning. speeding and getting caught. zagreb has a nice european town trapped in socialist architecture strange feel.

I liked its electric trams. overall nice scenery and beautiful country. if you're on a shoestring budget and your emails are cluttered with 'u' for you, 2 for two or too and da for the, it just might be the place for you.

Croatian women, the one that I saw in Zagreb, are quite beautiful, lacking any sense of fashion. They all choose to wear jackets with faux fur collars, knee high jeans and boots. Croatian men, all walk with limps, having been kicked in their shins by women wearing boots.

During this stay I developed some European habit, like eating cheese with wine and having espresso coffee. And consequently, constipation,.

I travel to London next week. Watch this space, for the place where beer is cheaper than water and juvenile deliquency is at its highest